ESPN 5×5 roto league, 12 teams. 20 players, play 6 pitchers, 5 bench spots. I had the first overall pick, typical snake draft.

Without any further ado, I give you the Charlottesville Wahoos:

1. Albert Pujols (1B-StL)
There really shouldn’t be any argument about this one. Really the only other player you could possibly consider is Johan, but I’m not about to go there here. Plus, picking Pujols here allows me to focus a little bit more on pitching later on.

2. Joe Mauer (C-MIN)
This is the first draft this season I haven’t gone with Bard late for my catcher. I would have probably picked Manny here, but he went at the pick immediately previous to mine here. Mauer’s a great player, and I’m certainly not unhappy with him here at this pick. He posted a .324 EQa last season and BP’s PECOTA projects him to keep it up around there again this season. An absolute beast. From BP 2007: “We’re guessing all that talk about the Twins making a mistake by taking the hometown boy over Mark Prior with the first pick of the 2001 draft has calmed down a bit.”

3. Chris Carpenter (SP-StL)
PECOTA’s comparables for Carpenter? Gaylord Perry, Roger Clemens, Fergie Jenkins, and Esteban Loaiza. For the record, that’s three Hall of Famers and Esteban Loiaza. I’ve never been a huge Carpenter fan, but you can’ t argue with the numbers. He’s been as productive as any pitcher not named Johan over the past few years, and I justify picking him here because I got Pujols in the first round. He’ll pick up a bit of the slack from the missing hitter I would have picked here.

4. Hanley Ramirez (SS-FLA)
The two prospects Boston sent to the Marlins in the Beckett deal last offseason? Anibal Sanchez (he of the no-hitter last fall), and Ramirez. Speed is gonna go early, and Pujols and Mauer aren’t gonna help all that much in that department. Ramirez is going to end up being a poor man’s Jose Reyes, and it’s gonna hurt to watch him have all that success and not in a Red Sox uniform.

5. Joe Nathan (RP-MIN)
Rivera was gone at this pick, and I would have picked him instead, breaking my long-standing rule of not picking any Yankees. However, over the past few years Nathan has been just as good if not better than Mo at the end of the game. In my last draft, he was the first pick in the second round. I’m feeling really comfortable at this point. Even if Minnesota isn’t as good as they were last year, they’re still going to win a lot of games, and Nathan will be there at the end.

6. Bill Hall (SS,OF-MIL)
Hall’s been a big favorite of mine this season, and with good reason. He had a great year last year, with a VORP of 44.3, and bucked his previous trend of being a free swinger by seeing 4.15 pitches per plate appearance. He’ll be the Brew Crew’s starting center fielder, despite only being eligible at short in ESPN’s format to begin the year. His bat would be decidedly below average if he were playing left or right, but he ends up being an extremely valuable hitting center fielder, and has the wheels to adequately defend out there.

7. Daisuke Matsuzaka (SP-BOS)
First off, I refuse to refer to Matsuzaka-san as “Dice-K.” That is a pronunciation guide, not a nickname. But I digress. Finally, I get the big guy in one of my leagues. There are a lot of newfound Matsuzaka haters out there, using the excuse that he gave up two home runs to non-roster invitees on the Orioles the other day to compare him to Hideki Irabu (George Steinbrenner’s famous “Fat Toad”). Give me a break — Yankee fans are just scared. Repeat after me: it’s spring training. This guy is going to be straight money this year. He’ll win at least 15 games, and is gonna put up some impressive strikeout numbers to boot. I’ve said it before in this space, and I’ll say it again: the Red Sox rotation is just sick this season.

8. Alex Rios (OF-TOR)
Rios had a breakout season last time around which was unfortunately derailed by a staph infection in late June. The power he displayed early last season should come back with instruction during ST, so I expect Rios to be a real valuable player once again. The one troubling sign is his almost 3:1 K-BB ratio, so he’s gotta learn some more discipline at the plate to really take the next step.

9. Chipper Jones (3B-ATL)
Chipper is one of those players that you always forget about, then you look at his numbers and remember that he’s been one of the most productive players in the league for a long time. He’s been hampered by injuries the past two seasons, so hopefully the 35-year-old can stay healthy — despite those injuries, he put up a .332/.411/.592 EQ line (that’s EQA, EQOBP, and EQSLG respectively). He’ll be a 20-25 homer, 75 RBI guy if he plays most of the season. A drop in production to what you want at the hot corner in terms of a fantasy team, but that is offset to a certain extent across the diamond by Mr. Pujols.

10. Takashi Saito (RP-LAD)
Saito did an admirable job closing last year for the Dodgers, proving that he could succeed in the Major Leagues. I’d be a little worried if he were my first closer, but see Joe Nathan above. He was an absolute beast out of the bullpen down the stretch, and is a fantastic second option for closer.

11. Ian Kinsler (2B-TEX)
Another Fantasy 411 favorite, Kinsler provides some great value at 2nd base in the 11th round. He projects to hit around 20 home runs this year, playing half his games at launching pad Ameriquest Field. He has a higher career on-base percentage than Alfonso Soriano, which is impressive until you consider the fact that I do too. Anyway, it comes down to the fact that I’m getting really good value for my pick here, and he’ll probably start at 2nd for me for the foreseeable future.

12. Magglio Ordonez (OF-DET)
Like Chipper before him, Ordonez will be productive as long as he remains healthy. I figure if he’s my third outfielder, I’m in good shape. The good quality lineup around him will help, especially given the addition of the aging-but-still-f#$&ing-scary Gary Sheffield.

13. Frank Thomas (DH-TOR)
It might be too much to ask for a repeat of last year’s monster year as the full-time DH in Oakland, for which he garnered some MVP consideration. The move to the Rogers Centre (park factor of 1.026) from Oakland Coliseum (.984) should help him.

14. Adam Wainwright (SP,RP-STL)
A downright hero in last year’s playoffs for the World Champs, Wainwright threw that nasty curveball that struck Carlos Beltran out looking to end NLCS game 7. He’s moving back to the rotation this season with the return of a healthy Jason Isringhausen, and has had a monster spring. He’s not Chris Carpenter, but he’ll definitely be effective this year. There is a possibility as well that he’ll move back to the bullpen if Izzy can’t stay on the field.

15. J.D. Drew (OF-BOS)
Hey, if he stays healthy, he’ll be a great value here in the 15th round. If not, I can get rid of him for someone who is. It seems that I have a lot more flexibility in his case than the Red Sox do.

16. Jonathan Papelbon (SP,RP-BOS)
Either way, I get a productive pitcher. Paps has shown flashes of brilliance as a starter so far this sring, and has been projected as a starter for his entire career. His phenomenal success in the bullpen last season will make the Sox brass think long and hard if the closer competition between Joel Pineiro, Brendan Donnelly, Mike Timlin, and Julian TAVAREZ doesn’t work out. If that happens, I get another extremely valuable closer.

17. Dave Bush (SP-MIL)
I’ve written about him before, and this was probably a much better round to get him at than in the 11th in my last draft. I have a real good feeling about him this year, and he’ll certainly win more games given the development of the Brewers offense.

18. Alex Gordon (3B-KCR)
I’ve always said that the your success in fantasy is inversely correlated to the number of Royals you have on your roster. However, Gordon is set up to be such a dominant player at his position that I couldn’t pass him up. Even if he doesn’t win the starting job right out of camp (which he should), he provides valuable insurance for the injury-prone Chipper.

19. Bob Wickman (RP-ATL)
This just in: I have a glut of closers. I’ll definitely be looking to trade one of them for perhaps some outfield help. You never know how many games the Braves are going to win, and Wickman stands to save the lion’s share of those wins. If he stop being effective, look out for Mike Gonzalez or Rafael Soriano to step into the role.

20. Ian Snell (SP-PIT)
Once again, a Fantasy 411 big time favorite for late-round value. Well, it doesn’t get much later than this– Snell was the last pick in the draft. This allows me to also perhaps package a starter in with one of the aforementioned closers in a trade. Snell puts up passable strikeout numbers, but got killed by lefties last year. That makes him a conditional starter based on what sort of lineup he’s facing.

All in all, I’m really happy with the way this one turned out.  I have good pitching depth, which I can probably trade out of to get some help on offense if some of my earlier picks decide to not pan out.  I have another draft tomorrow, so heads up for that.  Until then, happy drafting!

The League: 12-team, mixed, H2H. 19 players (3-bench).

The Categories: R, 3B, HR, RBI, SB, GIDP, E, AVG, OPS for offense. W, L, SV, HR, Ks, HLD, ERA, WHIP for pitchers.

Here we go:

1. Alfonso Soriano (OF-CHC)
The first three picks in order: Reyes, Pujols, Santana. Now, I love Jose Reyes, but the only guy I’m even considering taking over Pujols is Johan. It might be smart because of the triples category, though. I was really hoping that Santana would fall to me at 4. I was big-time bouncing back and forth between Soriano and Howard, but its hard to argue with getting Soriano here when he’s going at 2 or 3 in a lot of drafts. Errors count in this league, so hopefully he won’t be too atrocious in center at Wrigley.

2. Grady Sizemore (OF-CLE)
Sizemore is just plain money. He could be a legit MVP candidate this year. BP‘s PECOTA metric gives him a projected VORP of 46.1, and that’s on the conservative side. Last year, his VORP was 69.1. He’s got speed and power, and last year posted an EQa of .312. He’s just gonna get better, kids. NB: The 12-13 wheel picks in this draft? Derek Jeter and Joe Nathan. It was going to be that kind of afternoon.

3. Brandon Webb (SP-ARI)
The guys over at MLB.com’s Fantasy 411 would probably upbraid me for taking pitching this early, but Carpenter went in the 2nd round and I got scared — plus, I missed out on Morneau by 3 picks or so. However, Webb is the reigning NL Cy Young, and has a good, solid young team around him. Plus, he has some of the pressure taken off of him with the Snakes re-acquisition of Randy Johnson, and getting the capable Doug Davis in a trade. I expect Webb to contend for the Cy again this season.

4. Rafael Furcal (SS-LAD)
If you ignore his shit April (most likely due to a sore back), Furcal was one of the most consistent producers in the NL last year. He gets on base a ton — he missed being the top OBP leadoff guy in the NL by 5 ten-thousandths of a point last season — steals bases, and scores runs. His line after July first last year was .338/.402/.535. I can live with that from my shortstop.

5. Brian Roberts (2B-BAL)
Roberts rebounded a bit slowly from his bad injury a few years ago, but there’s no reason why he can’t pick up right where he left off. He might be a good trade chip in this lineup, given some of the depth I have a little later and my strength in steals. He’s the 2nd or 3rd best second-bagger in the game, behind Utley and maybe Cano.

6. Scott Kazmir (SP-TB)
Probably should have picked another bat here, but I had Kazmir, Matt Cain, and Jeremy Bonderman targeted this round and Cain and Bonderman went before it came back to me. At this point, I’m feeling pretty good about my pitching staff. A real K-artist, PECOTA projects him to have an EQSO9 of 8.4 this year. His walk rate went down last year too, which is real good. He’s real dangerous if he stays healthy.

7. Trevor Hoffman (RP-SDP)
The run on closers went a little early, and I feel like I caught the last end of the top tier. However, turns out that he was the only real closer I got. I might have to do some chasing, which scares me a little bit because of the thin bench in BB4.

8. Prince Fielder (1B-MIL)
I really like the Brewers this year, and Fielder is one of their best bats. To get a first baseman like him in the 8th round I thought was a good move, especially after missing out on Morneau in the third round. PECOTA’s conservative projections for him are basically the same as he actually produced last season, so I’m excited.

9. Ryan Freel (2B,3B,OF-CIN)
I’ve always wanted to have this guy. He’s a speedster, has a good amount of power (especially playing in Cincinnati), and is eligible all over the field. I needed someone at 3rd base, and Zimmerman got snatched out from under me a round or two previous.

10. Nick Swisher (1B,OF-OAK)
Swisher will likely play in my 3rd outfield spot. I’m happy when my 3rd OF in the 10th round could hit 30+ HRs and possibly 100RBIs and 100 walks. Moneyball forever!

11. Dave Bush (SP-MIL)
This is where I make the Fantasy411 guys proud. I hope this wasn’t a big enough reach in the 11th round (I got some “huh?”s in the draft room after this pick. I really like Bush this year (he’s the only guy named Bush who I like this year) — he’s got a lot of upside, and the increased run support he’s going to get in Milwaukee this year I think absolutely has to help.

12. Todd Helton (1B-COL)
I was flabbergasted to see Helton still available in the 12th round, and snapped him up right quick. Helton’s still got some pop in him, and should be over his injury woes from last year. I’m glad he’s still in Colorado and not in Boston, but he should still be productive and will help my team.

13. Joel Zumaya (RP-DET)
Holds count in my league, and Zumaya is getting me those until the inevitable Todd Jones injury, at which point he should become the closer in Detroit. That is, unless he hasn’t stopped playing Guitar Hero — the alleged source of his arm soreness during last year’s World Series.

14. Jhonny Peralta (SS-CLE)
The Great Mr. Typo!  This is where things started to slip a bit in my opinion.  Peralta’s got a lot of upside this year, but now that I’ve drafted him I’m not sure he’s worth a roster spot at this point in the season, especially considering I’ve got better options at short.  We’ll see.

15. Bartolo Colon (LAA-SP)
This is me not doing enough research.  This was a bit of a panic pick, and I didn’t know that Colon wasn’t going to be ready for the beginning of the season.  If he’s even 70% as good as he was in his Cy season two years ago, I’ll be happy, but at the moment I don’t have any pitching depth, so he presents me with a bit of a dilemma.

16. Chad Tracy (ARI-3B)
Tracy can’t hit left handed pitching for shit and isn’t all that good away from Chase Field, so  he’s  gonna ride the bench for no, losing time at the hot corner to Freel.  If he starts to pick it up, he might be alright eventually.

17. Josh Bard (C-SDP)
I’m getting slammed for this pick, but I’m going to stick with him for a while.  I really think that he’s going to grow into the full time job this year — he’s not going to hit for average as much as he did last year, but if he hits .280 with 10-15 home runs I can live with it.

18. Conor Jackson (1B-ARI)
I ended up with a lot of younger guys this time around, which is both a good and a bad thing.  I’m not sure how much I can get out of Jackson, but he should be good insurance for Helton at the utility spot if nothing else.

19. Nate Robertson (SP-DET)
Not the most talented young pitcher on the Tigers staff (that would probably be Bonderman or Verlander), but he’s reliable.  Might pitch-or-ditch a little bit with this slot… we’ll see.  I think he’s good value in the last round.

Any thoughts?  I don’t think this was as strong as my last draft, but I have a few possible trading partners, including a monster one lined up to help me at 3rd, C, and in the bullpen.  I’d be giving up Sizemore, so I’m not sure it’s worth it.  My other trading option would involve Roberts for a closer and maybe another player.  I think I’m usually pretty good at drafting and working the wavier wire, but evaluating trades is admittedly not my strong suit.  I should be able to make something happen this year though — I’m optimistic.

I will never, ever, EVER, care one iota about anything involved with the death of Anna Nicole Smith.  CNN, isn’t there some other news you could be covering instead?  Last I heard, there was a war on.

Frankly, I give McHale barely any credit at all for the recent success (read: a few years ago, not now) that the T-Wolves have enjoyed.  More of that credit belongs to Kevin Garnett, and McHale ruined the best team they had by getting rid of Sam Cassell and Latrell Spreewell a few years ago, not to mention the awful Wally Szczerbiak trade last season with the Celtics.

Other notable things about Forbes’ list: no baseball GM was in the top 20, the highest being Oakland Athletics GM/Revolutionary Billy Beane at 26th.  Dallas Cowboys owner/GM Jerry Jones is 13th, Boston Red Sox GM/Wunderkind Theo Epstein is 30th, and New York Yankees GM/Tool of the Aristocracy Brian Cashman is 61st.

Three NFL GM’s ranked at the bottom of the list, Matt Millen of Detroit, Mike Brown of Cincinnati, and Michael Lombardi of Oakland.

I question the validity of any formula that puts McHale at the top of a GM effectiveness rating.  Any thoughts on what could be a more effective formula to gauge this sort of thing?

Last week’s episode was a meditation on Marxism in the fleet and the exploitation of the working class in a survival situation.  It was really good, and I’m especially excited because it’s the last in what has been a long string of “filler” episodes, which have been particularly light on plot.  Thankfully, tonight’s episode focuses on Starbuck and what has been her heretofore ignored pseudo-psychic visions of the Eye of Jupiter.

If you haven’t watched this show yet, and you’re at all sci-fi inclined (and really, even if you’re not…it’s that good), check it out.  All two and a half of the seasons are available on iTunes and on DVD.  Get on that.  Right now.

Other shows in my running:

• NBC’s Heroes, which is incredible.  I probably look forward to that one more than anything.
• ABC’s Grey’s Anatomy.  I know, I know, there goes my manhood, right?  But it’s some serious soap drama greatness.
• ABC’s Lost, which has gone a little downhill this season.  I still love it, though.
• CBS’s Survivor, which I’m not ashamed to say I’m addicted to.  I’ve seen just about every episode that’s ever been aired.  Last season was incredible, although this season has left a little to be desired so far.  However, it’s like that at the beginning of almost every season, so I’m not worried.
• FOX’s House, which I’m a late convert to. Hugh Lawrie plays the most intriguing character on the idiot box today.

In that regard, it definitely didn’t disappoint. There is nary a thriller movie which actually makes me nervous and squirm around in my seat, but at times, Zodiac did just that. It was probably too long by half, but a lot of director David Fincher’s work is on the long side. It’s a fascinating story, and one with a lot of twists and turns, and down and dirty police work. It’s no L.A. Confidential when it comes to those aforementioned twists and turns, but it does the job nicely.

Gyllenhall is hyped as the lead actor, but he really only becomes such later on in the film. In fact, as K said as we were leaving the theater after I remarked that it was too long, it really seemed like two separate movies. One, during the early days of the Zodiac killer’s reign, while he was still presumably murdering people and sending letters and ciphers to the San Francisco Chronicle, and the other, after Zodiac had gone into hiding/seclusion for a few years. Ruffalo and Gyllenhall probably have the most screen time, with Gyllenhall picking up most of his in the second half of the movie, when Robert Graysmith is really becoming obsessed with writing his book and finding out who Zodiac really was.

The last thing about this movie really worth mentioning is that it was a “That Guy” hall of famer hall-of-fame movie. A “That Guy” hall of famer (thanks to Bill Simmons for the term) is an actor that, whenever you see him/her on screen, prompts you to yell “Oh, it’s that guy!” Well, this movie had so many parts like that, it was insane. You had Dermot Mulroney, Donal Logue, Philip Baker Hall, John Mahoney (who I missed the first time), Zach Grenier,…heck, it had Anthony Edwards!!! What has he done lately (oh that’s right, basically nothing since ER)?!?!? At one point I thought “hell, why didn’t they just cut the crap and cast William H. Macy?” — Macy being a charter member of the “That Guy” HOF.

All in all, Zodiac was definitely enjoyable, but you have to know what you’re getting into. The movie’s about two and a half hours long, and can drag towards the end. If you have trouble following complicated stories with lots of characters, it might be better to wait until the DVD release. However, in the end it’s a good flick and most certainly worth seeing no matter what.

“Daisuke is the pitching master!” said Boston Globe baseball columnist Bob Ryan, hopping from one foot to the other as he described videotape footage of Matsuzaka’s otherworldly pitching power and control banishing a flock of evil, conniving, left-handed-batting carp-spirits to the netherworld during a 2003 Seibu Lions game. “His Ultimate Galactic Dragon Gyroball Pitch Power Explosion breaks three feet inside before cutting sharply toward the dugout, where falsehood and cowardice are forced to shrink before it!”

Best Picture: The Departed
Best Director: Martin Scorsese
Best Actor: Forest Whittaker
Best Actress: Helen Mirren
Best Supporting Actor: Alan Arkin
Best Supporting Acress: Jennifer Hudson
Best Animated Feature: Cars (Happy Feet)
Best Animated Short: Maestro (The Danish Poet)
Best Live Action Short: Eramos Pocos (West Bank Story)
Best Foreign Film: Pan’s Labyrinth (The Lives of Others)
Best Documentary Short: The Blood of Yingzhou District
Best Documentary Feature: An Inconvenient Truth
Best Original Screenplay: Little Miss Sunshine
Best Adapted Screenplay: The Departed
Best Cinematography: Children of Men (Pan’s Labyrinth)
Best Art Direction:  Dreamgirls (Pan’s Labyrinth)
Best Costume Design: Marie Antoinette
Best Makeup: Pan’s Labyrinth
Best Sound Mixing: Dreamgirls
Best Sound Editing: Pirates of the Carribbean (Letters from Iwo Jima)
Best Film Editing: United 93 (The Departed)
Best Visual Effects: Pirates of the Carribbean
Best Original Score: The Queen (Babel)
Best Original Song: “Listen,” Dreamgirls (“I Need to Wake Up”, An Inconvenient Truth)

All in all, I got 14 correct out of the 24 categories total, tying me for first place in my pool with my housemate D.  My partner K got 13, making this the first year since I’ve known her that she hasn’t won at least a share of the prize.  She was royally pissed, especially because after she turned in her picks to me she predicted that Alan Arkin would beat Eddie Murphy, and that The Departed would win the editing prize over Babel (or United 93, for that matter).  “The Lives of Others” must be amazing to have beat out Pan’s Labyrinth for best foreign film… that’s gotta go on my to-see list.  Also on said list?  The best live-action short winner, “West Bank Story.”  It’s West Side Story with Jews and Palestinians, and they fight between falafel stands on either side of the street.  Amazing.

I normally don’t care about the fashion, but here’s my two cents.  Well dressed: Jodie Foster (I have such a crush on her… always have), Kate Winslet, Helen Mirren, and surprisingly, Celine Dion.  Poorly dressed: Anne Hathaway (and apparently, she’s dumb as a brick too… she went to my college), Cameron Diaz (looked like she was wearing a vinyl shower curtain).

…

Man, now I can’t wait for Project Runway to come back…

The MVP doesn’t NECESSARILY mean “the best player on the best team.”  It can, but it should mean, “the person whose team’s performance would drop the most if they were to be removed.”

As much as I love MLB, they are consistently the worst.  Last year wasn’t so bad, with Justin Morneau and Ryan Howard taking home the prizes.  The Twins and Phillies respectively wouldn’t have been nearly as good last year without those two young men.  But A-Rod in 2004?  The Derek Jeter campaign last year?  This may sound like Yankee-bashing for its own sake, but the New York lineup is so loaded that it’s hard for me to understand how one player can be singled out like that.  Everyone makes everyone else so much better in that lineup.  Put Jeter in Kansas City and we’ll see how valuable he is.  I did agree with the A-Rod MVPs while he was in Texas.  He was clearly the best player in the world at that point, and that team would have been complete trash without him (not that they were really any good with him, but I assure you they were probably a lot better),  Ewing Theory implications aside.